Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Kitty Crack

                                                                                                     March 16, 2011
Dear Feline Greenies,

We are writing to let you know that our cat Zanzibar loves your treats.  We very much care about the health and nutrition of our cat and pay close attention to the ingredients that he consumes.  We were happy to find a treat that “contains no artificial colors, flavors or preservatives” and also helps him reduce tartar and plaque buildup, cleans his teeth, and freshens his breath. 
However, we have noticed some behaviors that make us question what other ingredients may be included in Feline Greenies but is not listed.  The main one is KITTY CRACK.  See, Zanzibar loves the treats so much so that a slight shake of the bag will grab his attention.  As he runs to his bowl, he meows impatiently and sometimes demandingly with a head-butt.  Before we can even put all eight pieces into the bowl, he has already scarfed most of the treats down and hardly without chewing.  When he finishes, he looks up.  His eyes reveal sadness, sadness that there are no more treats and a look of pity for more.  Like an addict with their drugs, my cat is addicted to your treats and he is showing the same signs of addiction.  First is denial.  He doesn’t believe he has eaten all of the treats.  Second is greediness.  He craves for more.  And last, he will do almost anything to feed his addiction.
Here is what happens on a daily basis.  We give him treats in the morning before we head out for work and/or school.  Because of our schedules, we do not always arrive home at the same time.  One of us will give him his second serving of treats.  But, when the second person arrives home, he waits near his bowl and meows.  He is trying to trick that person into believing that he hasn’t already received his serving and go for a third helping of your KITTY CRACK.
As parents we love our children and want them to be happy, but what are we to do should their happiness be harmful to themselves?  By giving him his daily “dosages” of treats, are we enablers to his addiction?  The first step is acknowledging and that is what we have accomplished through writing this letter.  We hope that one day we may be able to have the strength to intervene to break his addiction and rehabilitate him to happiness before KITTY CRACK.
            So, thank you Feline Greenies.  Thanks a freakin’ lot.

                                                                                            Chris and Crystalyn

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious! That cat looks very noble in the photo. My cat has b become an beggar for treats and she will wake me up at all hours to give the treats of will try and break into the cupboard. It's new behavior and she acts like a crack addict jonesing for her next treat fix.